


What Do Your Stars Say About You?

by KWriterInTraining



Category: South Park
Genre: Established Relationship, Horoscopes, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Pointless Paranoia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 07:18:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KWriterInTraining/pseuds/KWriterInTraining
Summary: Kyle had a habit of reading horoscopes. What’s Stan supposed to do when he found out that something that terrified him?This is a one-shot for Kyle Broflovski's birthday who happens to be my favorite character c:





	What Do Your Stars Say About You?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to our favorite redheaded Jew. I came up with this idea a little while ago since I was into horoscopes too as a kid, now I read it for the same reason Kyle does here. I hope I captured the adorable side of their relationship.
> 
> Also that's the closest to a smut scene you'll ever get out of me XD
> 
> Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves, and Happy Birthday Kyle Broflovski and Matt Stone c:

Kyle walked into the school with his phone in hand, not a rare sight in the morning seeing how he was always the earliest of his friends to arrive. That didn't last long as a pair of mitted palms gently covered the redhead's eyes, he jumped a little at the contact but he recognized those red gloves and the voice by his ear, "Morning, Kyle."

He put his phone into his pocket to turn around and properly greet the boy behind him. "Hey Stan." He smiled.

Stan Marsh moved his hands to cup his face, giving him a light peck before wrapping one arm around his shoulder, "How's my birthday boy doing?"

"I'm surprised you remembered."

"Kyle, I'm offended." Stan gasped in mock horror, "Here I am, being a perfect boyfriend and preparing a birthday date for my sweet little redhead, and you accuse me of forgetting such an important day." He pouted.

Kyle chuckled at his boyfriend's act and played along, folding his arms across his chest as he said, "Well sorry if your past records don't inspire much confidence."

They laughed as they reached their lockers. The four of them were lucky enough to get lockers fairly close to each other, even if they don't all share the same classes. As Stan desperately tried to stuff his bag into his overflowing locker, he noticed Kyle looking at his phone again. "Are you checking that website again?" He asked as he finally slammed the locker shut.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" The redhead raised his eyebrow in question.

Stan sighed at his boyfriend's words. Kyle found a website about horoscopes and he had been obsessed with it since. He had read up on the mythical lore of horoscopes and he loved reading daily horoscopes. Stan was getting worried that he'd start believing in that made up shit, like that time with that phony psychic douche, John Edward. Stan had to win a psychic battle to convince Kyle to come back to South Park with him.

Stan chose his words carefully, not wanting to piss off his short-tempered boyfriend, "Kyle, you know all that astrological shit isn't real. Right?"

"Aw come on, Stan. Are you saying I'm not a gentle and affectionate boyfriend?"

"That's not what I mean but-" Stan said before Kyle closed his locker and kissed him. "I'll see you during lunch. Oh and here you go." Kyle dug out a phone charm with a stone as green as his emerald eyes and placed it into Stan's hands, "This should bring you good luck." He winked as he headed to his classroom.

Stan watched Kyle's figure disappear into the crowd in the school halls before looking at the charm and sighing. Kenny showed up, looking confused as to why Stan was sitting on the floor, leaning onto the lockers and glaring at a phone charm with a green pebble on it. "I don't get it, Kenny." Stan groaned as he looked up at his orange-wearing friend, "Kyle's always been more logical than supernatural, so why is he buying into this?"

Kenny shrugged as he grabbed his books and picked Stan up from the filthy, gum-riddled floor. The two shared first period together so they walked to the computer lab together. As the teacher droned on about the history of the internet, Stan began to wonder about Kyle's obsession with horoscopes. What was so special about it that make Kyle so interested in it?

Overcame with curiosity, he snuck a look to make sure the teacher wasn't looking before opening up the website. To be fair, no one was really paying any attention to the lessons. Bebe's on Ebay looking for her next pair of shoes, while Kenny's probably watching porn on his computer.

The website loaded up and Stan clicked into Kyle's sign profile, Gemini, and began reading what it had to say.

**Expressive and quick-witted, Gemini represents two different personalities in one and you will never be sure which one you will face.**

_That's fair_ , Stan supposed. Kyle always seemed like that, he's got the shortest fuse you've ever seen and yet he could be so forgiving towards others even when he had to help fix the fuck-ups. A lot of what the website said about Geminis fit very well with Kyle's personality, so it shocked Stan when he read the romance section of the profile.

**The biggest challenge for any Gemini's love life is to find an emotion that lasts, especially as they get older and realize that they are already in a repetitive mode of superficial or disappointing bonds. When a Gemini man falls in love, it is hard to say how long it will last.**

_Our love won't last?_ Stan paled in horror. Would Kyle really fall out of love with him? _No, I can't let that happen!_ Stan decided with determination, it took them half their childhood to get together and he'll be damned if he'll let it slip away from him. He noticed a section titled 'How to Attract a Gemini.'

_Maybe this could give me another shot._

* * *

 

The bell rang and Stan frowned in disappointment as he closed the tabs, he started thinking about how often Kyle was on the site. Surely Stan needed to step up his game if he wants to keep Kyle from anyone who wants to steal his heart from Stan. Kyle might not believe it but there were girls (and a few closeted gays) that wanted the redhead for themselves. Sideways glances and faint blushes from admirers that only Stan noticed, and his eyes burned with possessiveness and pride at the thought that out of everyone, the smart and righteous Kyle Broflovski chose his best friend to be his lover.

Stan never thought about what'd happen if he saw Kyle in the arms of another and he'll make sure that'd never come true.

The lunch bell rang and Kyle headed straight to the cafeteria. He was eager to hear about Stan's plans for today. Today was a good day for him so far, he had a great breakfast of pancakes and he and Ike had scheduled a gaming session after school; plus his loving boyfriend planned a birthday date just for him, seemed like the stars were shining in his favor this year.

Just as he started thinking about how lucky he was, his friends showed up to their table. Ever since Cartman decided to date Wendy and ditch them, the three of them have never been happier. He, Kenny and Stan became closer and Stan had been his boyfriend ever since his awkward confession at the age of 14.

"Hey Kenny." Kyle greeted the blond with a high-five.

"Sup birthday boy? How does it feel to finally be 16?" Kenny chuckled as he smushed Kyle's signature ushanka onto his head, indirectly ruining his hair. Kenny laughed even harder at the glare the little redhead shot back at him. Kyle reeled in his annoyance the minute Stan sat next to him.

"Great, now all I need is for my Ma not to pop a vessel when I ask for a car." Kyle groans as he picked at the questionable food on his tray, it was times like this that they really missed Chef. "Enough about that, what's the plan for this 'romantic' birthday date you'd been bragging on about?" Kyle turned to Stan, startling him into choking his food.

Stan suddenly regretted telling Kyle about his birthday surprise because after he read the horoscope website, he wasn't sure if it was enough to impressive Kyle anymore. Stan cleared his throat and decided to fake it so he answered in a playful tone, "Tsk, Kyle. I didn't know you were so impatient." He wrapped his arm around him and pulled him closer as he continued, "Let's just say I'll show you how much you mean to me."

Kyle laughed at the sheer cheesiness of the scene but he wasn't gonna stop Stan from pulling him into a kiss. Before their lips touched, a shrill voice came from across the cafeteria, "Hey you two! No PDA!"

Stan whined a little before reluctantly parting himself from Kyle. "Fucking teachers." He muttered under his breath.

Kyle smiled amusingly at Stan before boldly kissing him on the cheek, giving Stan an unexpected rush, "After school, we'll continue then." Kyle promised as he laced his hands in Stan's under the lunch table.

That just made Stan even more determined to woo Kyle on this date and show him how exciting of a boyfriend he can be.

* * *

 

**1\. He needs change and responds to the excitement and the surprising nature of their loved one.**

Stan showed up at the Broflovski household at an hour earlier than they planned, he knocked on the door with a simple rose in hand, Stan never gave Kyle flowers so he was hoping that this will surprise him. He was usually late but Kyle put up with it and worked around it. This time he not only showed up earlier, he had to do a lot of last time re-planning but he came up with a whole new plan that involved things the two of them never (or rarely) done, which with the childhood that they lived through didn't provide poor Stan with a lot of options.

Kyle opened the door, surprised to see Stan so early this time. He felt a little embarrassed that he was so unprepared, he thought he'd at least have another hour and a half before Stan would even leave his house. Stan smiled a little as he noticed his slightly messy boyfriend, he was nowhere near ready. Maybe Kyle could let Stan in and help him get ready, hopping into the shower and letting Stan wash those soft fiery red locks on his head…

"Umm… Stan, what are you doing here? Our date isn't for another hour."

That wasn't the response Stan was hoping for.

"I thought I'd come over and give you a surprise." Stan answered as he awkwardly gave Kyle his rose, "Surprise."

"Oh. Thanks?" Kyle mirrored his awkwardness as he took the flower, wondering what to do with it. He stepped aside to let his boyfriend in. "Well since you're here, you can keep Ike entertain while I get ready." Stan didn't get the chance to dispute before he saw Kyle bouncing up to his room.

He sighed disappointingly as he slumped onto the couch, taking the controller that Kyle left behind and started playing against Ike.

**2\. To win his heart, one has to be fun, stimulating, adventurous, laughing at his jokes and ready to learn from him day after day.**

Stan was losing to Ike for 20 minutes before Kyle finally came down in some comfy track pants and one of Stan's hoodies. From what Stan implied, Kyle believed that Stan was going to take him to see the new movie coming out, go to Shaky's for pizza and maybe go to the arcade, all things Kyle loved doing with Stan.

But he was surprised to see that Stan not only drove past all those places, they were leaving South Park. Kyle, shocked and confused, turned to Stan and asked, "Huh, Stan where are we going?"

"Well, I figured we've done all that we can do in South Park so this year, I'm feeling a little adventous and we're going to Denver. I've got everything planned out so you just kick back and enjoy."

"I thought we were just gonna spend the day at the arcade or something. If I knew, I'd bring more money and a jacket." Kyle furrowed his brows.

_That's a joke, I think. I should laugh_ "Haha, good one." Stan let out an unnatural laughter, but he fell silent when he looked over at Kyle looking perplexed at him, like he's looking at the world's biggest retard.

"Umm, thanks." Kyle raised his eyebrow as he looked over to his flustered boyfriend. "But I really don't know how much 50 bucks and some loose pocket change will pay for a night in Denver."

"Oh." Stan muttered, completely embarrassed "Don't worry, I got you covered."

Stan pulled up at a building and led Kyle into a dark and ominous looking lobby with the name of the place painted in red behind the counter, 'Escape From Hellscream'.

Stan internally did a little dance when he noticed the look of awe and excitement on the little redhead's face, he strode confidently towards the lady at the counter. "Hey, I called earlier today. My name is Stan Marsh and you told me you guys got a room for now."

She checked the computer on the counter and informed, "Yes, this one is a pretty difficult one. One of the creeper ones too." _Perfect_ , Stan thought. Maybe it'd freak Kyle out enough to send him jumping into Stan's arms.

"Great, it's be the two of us please." Stan paid for both of them, determined not to let Kyle spend a penny for his birthday.

"Alright then, just follow the nurse and she'll take you to the room."

Stan jerked and his face paled once he heard the N-word, "N-nurse?"

Sure enough there was another lady entering the room, she was dressed in an aged-yellowish white nurse uniform with red splotches covering it, she also wore a facemask covering her mouth and nose. "Hello new bloods and welcome to the asylum." She greeted them with a sly and chilling tone as she led them down a corridor, "Please follow me, the doctor will see you now."

She led them into a dark room with flickering lights, with the little visibility they had, they could see a rickety bed with rusted metal frames, some hospital appliances along with a giant fridge wrapped in metal chains with a lock securing it. "Welcome to the Asylum. You have 65 minutes to retrieve your heart from the refrigerator before the doctor returns. Good luck." With that, the nurse locked the door behind us.

The entire setting was so exciting to Kyle, he didn't know about escape rooms and he was so thrilled by the idea of using his wits to beat the game and the eeriness of the asylum room. "Wow, Stan. This is amazing!" He exclaimed as he began examining his surroundings for the next clue.

"Y-yeah, amazing." Stan stuttered, he was frozen in place as he looked over the red-stained bedsheet and the walls scribbled with the rumblings of a mad man. Stan knew that this was all fake, but he couldn't help it that his dislike and paranoia towards hospitals were making his stomach churn in all the wrong ways.

Stan practically leaped into the air when he felt something touch his shoulders, it turned out to be Kyle looking concerned at his jittery boyfriend, "Are you OK, Stan?"

Stan shook his head quickly, Kyle took his hand and said softly, "Come on, let's find the first key."

"That was so much fun! I didn't think that the password would be the name of the patients inverted." The escape took a little longer than he expected but they made it out in time. Kyle clearly enjoyed himself but Stan couldn't help feeling a little disappointed, he wanted to be the one to comfort Kyle when he got scared, not the other way around. But in the end, Kyle was constantly holding him as they solved the puzzles, or moreso _Kyle_ solved the puzzles.

"Uh-huh." Stan sighed, unconsciously letting his disappointment seep into his tone.

"You look horrible, maybe we should just head back for dinner."

"No!" Stan shouted before calming down. "No, come on it took me a while to find this place."

Stan was getting worried now, nothing was going according to plan, Kyle wasn't happy and Stan wasn't getting anywhere close to impressing him. He only hoped that dinner could turn things around for him.

"Welcome to the Linger Eatuary." The host greeted them as they entered the restaurant.

Kyle was a little taken aback by the building, after all it was a mortuary before the owner transformed it, "Stan, what is this place?"

Stan was a little surprised to see that Kyle was so unnerved by this place, seeing how he cleared the escape room with ease, he smiled as the waiter took them to their booth and served them some water, "Uhh, thanks." Kyle said warily to the waiter as he eyed the bottle of water and the footage the place used as a menu.

"You haven't even drank your water."

"I don't really trust any liquid from formaldehyde bottles."

"Relax dude, all these are just for aesthetics." Stan chuckled. "You're smart enough to know that."

"Geez thanks." Kyle rolled his emerald eyes before smirking, "Said the guy who wouldn't leave even though he was screaming like a lil bitch."

"I'd do anything to see you smile like that."

"Stan, you seriously OK?" Kyle laughed at Stan's corny remark, "You sound like a cheesy ass 80s rom-com."

"Does that mean you're properly charmed?" Stan winked.

Kyle rolled his eyes again but decided to play along. "Oh definitely, how could I not fall for you manly wiles?" He sighed over-dramatically as he moved closer to his blue-eyed lover.

**3\. As in all things in life, he needs new experiences, verbal contact, and freedom of expression when it comes to sexual relationships.**

"So if I wanted to do this here," He whispered wistfully in Kyle's ear as he began to put his arms around Kyle's waist, "would you let me?" He punctuated with a slight nibble on the earlobe before moving his lips onto the neck.

"Stan?" Kyle whispered helplessly, he knew they were in public but Stan's magic had already taken over him. The poor boy couldn't help but fall and melt into Stan's embrace.

"Shh…" Stan coaxed the blushing boy into submission, the gasps and noises Kyle made was making Stan lose composure too. His hands rubbing against Kyle's sides as he left little marks on his neck, not caring how Kyle would hide them when he got home. Stan boldly let his hands ventured lower, with one hand on Kyle's inner thigh and the other on his belt.

Kyle's face was completely red now, quivering from his boyfriend's advances. He felt so hot now and Stan's hands were just teasing him, moving so close to where he wanted them to be but stopping just before it, running his fingers there and rubbing the sensitive flesh there. Stan's patience seemed to be dwindling as he fumbled with the belt, all he needed to do was reach down and-

"Umm-" A voice halted them. Kyle felt his mind clearing up and he blushed even harder when he noticed the situation he was in. He was moaning like some wanton whore with his boyfriend's hands in his pants in the middle of a restaurant, in front of every other patron and their waiter who looked almost as embarrassed as he was.

Kyle immediately pulled himself away from Stan. "S-sorry about that." He stuttered awkwardly as he jumped out of the booth and dashed out of the building.

"K-Kyle! Wait up!" Stan cried as he chased after Kyle, leaving the waiter in utter shock and confusion.

* * *

 

Stan found Kyle against his car, panting and fixing his pants up. Kyle heard Stan approach him and turned to face him before snapping, "What was that?!"

"Huh?" Stan started to back away from his glaring boyfriend, still red from embarrassment and anger.

"What's with you today?" Kyle asked suspiciously closed the distance by stepping forward. "You showed up an hour earlier, looking tense as fuck. Gave me flowers which you never do or like to begin with, brought me to Denver even though your allowance could barely cover it and now you're just obsessed with PDA and touching me!" "So explain please."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how it must've looked on your end." Stan cowered as he lowered his head. "I just didn't want you to get bored of me."

"Bored of you?" Kyle asked incredulously, "Stan, you're hardly boring."

"But you'll feel that way. You'll get bored of me and then you'll leave me, I don't want you to leave me. I love you too much to even think abou-" Stan started rambling until Kyle cut him off, more confused than ever.

"Woah, woah Stan, slow down." Kyle stopped his rambling lover before asking, "Where's all of this coming from? I'm not bored of you, I love you."

"Umm… from that horoscope site?"

"That site you gave me shit about?"

"Here." Stan handed Kyle his phone with the website opened on it.

"Stan, there are over 7 billion people in the world. There's no way that only 12 personalities exist for all those people."

"Then why are you so obsessed with it?"

"Other than lore? Well…" Kyle scratches the back of his neck as he admitted, "I read it for fun. Sometimes it's just fun to see what kind of stupid shit they post on there, sometimes it's good stuff and you can feel all happy about it and when it said your luck is shit then you can just laugh at how ridiculous their 'calculations are."

Stan's mind went into shock at Kyle's confession before he mentally slapped himself in the face. He was such an idiot, he shouldn't know that Kyle wouldn't buy into that shit and he ended up believing in it so much that he botched their date up.

"Kyle, you won't leave me. Right?" He knew the answer but asked more for reassurance. "There are a lot of people who want you, you're amazing and I don't want to lose you."

Kyle opened his mouth to respond but instead he messed around with Stan's phone before giving it back to him, "Here, look at this." Kyle said.

**In general though, there's far too much congeniality and goodwill between Gemini and Libra for them to fall out in a major way. These guys are natural born buddies, and the slight element of tension present between them merely fans the flames of the physical attraction which very often exists.**

"What's this?" Stan asked as he looked up from reading the page.

"It's the site's horoscope compatibility section." Kyle explained, "Libras and Geminis are soulmates, they're perfect for each other. So don't ever doubt that again, Stanley."

Stan nodded as he pulled Kyle into a warm embrace. Stan's paranoia might have tainted their evening but he made up for it by buying Kyle an entire pizza for him, and spending the night at the Broflovski home playing guitar hero and holding him as he fell asleep.

Stan watching his sleeping lover as he lightly stroked his red locks, he looked over at his phone again and chuckled lightly to himself. They were going to be just fine and Stan was going to make sure that they'd be together no matter what.

After all that's what the stars say.


End file.
